Tips For A Job Interview
Julie Buffaloe-Yoder
.
Pick out your outfit
the night before.
Sew up the holes.
Glue soles back in place.
Wear white if not stained.
It looks the least faded.
.
Wake up early–scrape
your skin until it burns
to remove all residue
of funk and desperation.
.
Park three blocks away
so they won’t see your
broken windshield or
hear the crick-crack
of your rattling bolts
.
or smell
the blue cloud
of smoke hanging
over your head.
.
When you show up
two hours early, hide
behind bushes. Don’t
peep in the windows.
Stroll in no more than
fifteen minutes
before they sniff
and call your name.
.
Don’t be tempted to take
any of the quarters
that wink at you
from the
wishing pool.
.
Don’t stare in awe
at the art on their walls
or the carpet or the leather.
.
Don’t let them see sweat
in your eyebrows
or the permanent roots
of dirt on your palms.
.
Shake hands firmly.
Don’t hold on too long.
Pretend you belong.
.
When they say that
someone with your
experience
is not a good fit
for entry level work,
.
don’t tell them how
you can whistle
and scrub toilets
at the same time
or how you’ll gladly
mop and glow
for much less.
.
Don’t cry or beg
or tell them
their entry level
is more than
you’ve ever
made in your life.
.
Smile, thank them
for taking the time
to kick you in your
experienced ass.
.
Don’t get mad
when people
you pass
on the street
.
shy away
from the scarlet flush
on your forehead.
They know
it is contagious.
.
Just shut up.
Go back to
the beginning.
Wash. Rinse.
Repeat.
.
This is the true pandemic cruising through the worlds population. I don’t think we have even begun to see the far off end to the misery that greed has spread. Forty years in the making, how long in the baking, now we are all at the table dining. Except of course them that drove the bus off the cliff.
Hi, Walking Man. It’s so good to see you. It’s sort of the story of my life…ha! ha! But it could be worse, that’s for sure. I think of my grandparents a lot nowadays. They lived through some very rough times. I think I inherited their strong willed nature, which is one good thing. Or maybe I’m just hard headed:)
Thanks much for your comments!
Oh my god, this was half way between hysterical and so so sad. I’m going to print this poem and hang it up on my fridge. I need me a job, and at the moment, this is my very boat.
Thanks, Cat. I sort of do that laughing in the dark thing, don’t I? Ha! Ive been turned down by Wal-Mart and a bunch of fast food joints. Sheesh. So I figure we may as well laugh. I’ve got a mop and a bucket and two feet. Hey, if I see something in your area, I’ll let you know.
One of my favorite all-time stories uses imperative sentences to set-up each scene. It first appeared in ACM (Another Chicago Magazine) back in the late 80’s. “Dreamland” by … man I must be getting old … I can’t recall the author. Nice poem btw.
JR, you have no idea how neurotic I am. Now I’m going to be up all night looking for that story. Ha! Ha! I laugh, but…well…it’s true. It does sound good, though. I just tried to find it but couldn’t. If you remember the author, please lemme know.
Thanks much, JR. Have a good one.
julie,
i love to hear you speak in the vernacular. very fine work.
Hi, Jack. Thanks so much. Sometimes it feels like I speak two languages. My “full force” vernacular would need an interpreter here:) I’m happy when people enjoy it, so your comment is much appreciated.
I absolutely adore this poem. I know it so well and right now my sister is living it. Thanks for making me smile.
Hi, Brigindo. It does seem to be contagious. I hope your sister has better luck soon. It is rough to watch a loved one go through it, too.
Thanks so much for your good words:) P.S. – Have a fun trip! I’ll miss you.
OMG what a hoot! Just love it!!! I’m like Cat…it’s between hilarious and sad…just like life I suppose. I swear, you could write a poem about anything.
I’m reminded of what Toi Derricotte once said of Ruth Stone’s work…she said “Absolutely crafted, absolutely original, absolutely true, I return to her poems to learn how to survive.”
That is exactly how I feel about your poetry. I love the wild aptness of them! They are always so perfectely suited to the situation.
Hi, K! How’s it going? That sure is a nice compliment, especially coming from you, sis. I’ll eat it up with a tablespoon and come back for more🙂
I like how you say “just like life.” That’s so true, ain’t it? When I look back at my life, I can honestly say I’ve been (and still am) happy. But I sure would like to try money on just one time in my life to see how it would fit me…HA! I think I could squeeze into that suit.
Thanks so much, K. Have a good one.
Oh yes, yes yes! You really get it, Julie. The part about hiding behind the bushes after you show up early, that is so me, hahaha! The quarters in the fountains too, I can see how that would demand a certain restraint. Thank you for this one!
Hi, Rachel. I thought I was the only one who did that. Ha! Ha! My friends are concerned that hiring managers will see this poem. Friends are sweet to worry. No hiding behind bushes on the internet, that’s for sure. What they see is what they get. Hee hee…
Thanks so much, Rachel. It’s great to see you. I hope your trip is a fun one.
Hi Julie,
Thought I’d pop in and say hello, and thanks for commenting on my blog. What a wonderful poet you are!
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Hi, Joanne. Thanks for stopping by. It’s so nice to meet you! -Julie
or smell
the blue cloud
of smoke hanging
over your head.
Wonderful. This really resounds right now……..so many people I know have lost their jobs and are having to move down the ladder and facing this sort of thing. Dry humour that hurts. Fabulous.
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Hi, Jo. I know what you mean. I have met so many people who are going through the struggle. Some are better off financially, but I feel for them, too. I met a man who was a computer programmer. He was laid off and suspects it’s because he’s an older worker. Age discrimination is another challenge for a lot of people, whether they’re younger or older.
Thanks so much, Jo! I can’t wait to see the next ouroboros:) -J
Oh, and best of luck in the job hunting. I know it can’t be easy. I’ve got my fingers and toes crossed for you! 😉
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Thanks, K! I’m starting to think of some new ideas. Maybe freelance, which I’ve done a lot. Or even a new business. I’m so thankful for freedom. I think a lot about that lately. I’ve done nothing to earn my freedom, but I sure do appreciate that gift. And I appreciate you, K! Take care. -J
Julie, this is an amazing poem. It makes my heart hurt. But it’s also wonderfully vivid and imaginative. This poem could be the emblem of a generation. And we’ve all been there in spirit, even the most wealthy, for who among us hasn’t felt smaller or less worthy than the rest? Maybe the Buddha.
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I’m mixing up my comments again…ha! Hi, Christine! Yours is below. -J
Haha, great poem momma. Biting but funny. I take it the job hunt isn’t going as planned?
I know so many people who are in this position right now, it’s really tough out there. I saw you mentioned freelancing, which I’ve got to say is pretty empowering. You have to hustle to find work, but at least you don’t have to worry about someone laying you off.
Have you looked into temping? I know it isn’t great, but it could be an option.
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Hi, Amber! This is the story of my life. Ha! Ha!
You’re so right about freelancing. Actually, what you do inspires me a lot. I’ve applied for all the temp agencies that I could find. Even fast food joints, Wal-mart, etc. I was told that I’m competing with “kids,” which is where the word experienced popped up. I feel so badly for people who are older than I am and out there looking. I feel sorry for new graduates, too. Either end of the spectrum has got to be rough.
I think it’s just a numbers game. After a while, your number comes up. I’m quite stubborn, so I’m not one to give up or jump off a ledge. But in the meantime, I’m exploring all the options. It would be awesome to work for myself full time! I’d probably work myself too much, but it would be a great feeling.
I’ve got some poems to e-mail you today:) Check your inbox! Love, Mom
This was so different, and yet in many ways it seemed natural coming from you (don’t take that the wrong way – I don’t sense desperation, by any means!) It’s just that you have that amazing ability to get under the skin of anyone you choose to depict. That hard-bitten, slightly bitter, yet slightly optimistic voice speaks for so many. It doesn’t matter who you are, or where you’ve come from, you have to have had that door in the face experience, be it from a job interview, or life itself. Another winner, Julie!
Kat
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Hi, Kat. It’s good to see you, as always. I’m looking forward to another Kat blast from the past!
Hard edged optimism is a great way to describe many people who are slushing around out there now. Their stories are amazing. Some people have always lived in a recession. Some people are new to it. But one thing many of them have in common is a twinge of optimism. I really mean it when I say “never give up.” The people I’ve met who have given up on life are heartbreaking. Maybe their life is not their fault. Maybe it is. It’s still sad to see a human being with no hope.
Thanks so much, Kat. Have a good one. -J
Hi, Christine. I’m so glad you’re back from your trip! I hope it was a good one.
You’re right about the unworthy feelings. We have all been in those situations, regardless of economics.
My crazy brain starts bouncing all over the place, because now I’m starting to feel even worse for people who were once in a high income bracket. People like me think that at least they once “had it made.” But they never had to live it before, so they’re not used to it. It’s got to be a rude awakening.
I’d better stop, or I’ll give a monologue here. Ha! Ha! Thanks, Christine. It’s great to see you.
So many people will relate to an aspect or aspects of this poem, Julie. You’re very intuitive. I think this is my favourite stanza:
Don’t be tempted to take
any of the quarters
that wink at you
from the
wishing pool.
It seems such a human temptation – and I can see those shiny coins.
Thank you, Michelle! I like that one, so I appreciate that you pointed it out. Those coins can be evil temptations:)
Here’s hoping your luck changes…
I enjoyed the poem, the bit about hiding in the bushes particualrly…
Hi, Juliet. Thanks so much! I hope you’re doing well.
Julie — I love your poetry. This is yet another standout.
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Hi, Ruth. That is wild. I was just thinking about you. I hope you’re doing well. I’ll hop over and visit tonight. Thanks so much! -Julie
Julie, Your wish is MY command! BFtP up and running.
Kat
Alright, Kat! Now, how did I manage to do that? Just kidding. I had a feeling it was time. Thanks for letting me know! I’ll definitely check it out.
Hi Julie,
I like the poem’s closing: wash, rinse, repeat. That’s where the optimism comes in, and the circular nature of the poem. Now: to real life: I hope the job search goes better. I didn’t know you were looking. Every day, until the County finalizes its budget, there are talks of library layoffs, reduced hours, and possible branch closings; so, it’s a little tenuous for me, too. My husband works for the State, and there’s also a possibility of layoffs in his department. We won’t know until the State finalizes its budget. Let’s all hope the economy turns around soon.
It’s interesting to read a successful poem in what I think is called the second person, with an implied “you,” which in a short work, gives the poem universality, whether the reader has been in that exact position or not. Great technique!
Hi, Annie.
I’m sorry you’re having a possibility of layoffs. My husband’s plant closed, which was why we moved. Boy, I can understand that fear. Waiting for the final answer is rough. Getting the final answer is often rougher.
I stole the “wash, rinse, repeat” from the shampoo bottle. Ha! I think now they say “if necessary” or something like that.
Yes, I’m optimistic by nature. Or like Kat was saying, I see saw between optimism and sarcasm:) Some days I feel sorry for myself, and I hate myself when I do that. Many other people all over the world have it much worse. At least I can tell my stories.
Thanks for the kind words, Annie! Have a good one.
this made my heart race and my palms sweat.
Good work!
Hi, Jorc,
I just went over to see what you’re up to. Yeah! I’ll be back when I’m not running around (probably tonight). It’s nice to see you. Thanks for the good words.
Good luck Julie.
I also think freelancing is a good idea – it takes determination , which I am sure you have . And it is exactly that type of job where being hard headed and hard working does help.
Hi, Annamari,
Yes, it does seem like a good thing to try. I’ve done it a little before, so maybe I can make a go of it. Thanks much!
Been there so many times. You really zeroed in on the true feelings and the difficulty of trying again and again.
Hi, Technobabe. I just checked out your site and am hoping you can give me lots of free technological advice. Just kidding😀 It’s a very nice site. I’ll return to take a further look tomorrow. Thanks for your comments. It’s nice to meet you.
not having a job makes this all the more poignant to me…since I just shaved my head, I am thinking about how it will affect the way people see me…if it will make a difference in whether or not people take me seriously…anyway, this all makes sense to me in that context
Hello, Holly. I’m afraid you’re probably right. Some people tend to judge according to outside appearances. But sometimes it depends on the employer…and what you’re looking to do. I’m applying for everything.
People keep telling me that my blog is dooming me in the world of employment. Bah. If bosses are that stupid, then it’s all the more reason why I should work for myself. I’m also finally getting to the point where I don’t care what people think. I’m not ashamed of what I’m doing here, so if they up their nose at me because of this, then they’re pretty narrow minded.
I wish you lived near me. I bet we could come up with some kick ass ideas. Thanks so much, Holly. It’s always good to see you.
Julie – This is as Kaye said, somewhere between hilarious and sad — making me want to laugh and cry. This really makes my heart hurt, though:
scrape
your skin until it burns
to remove all residue
of funk and desperation.
Got everything that crosses crossed for you– fingers, toes, eyes, legs, arms… I’m all tied up with good wishes and thoughts.
Hey, Karen. It’s so good to see you. Are you back from your trip? I can’t wait to see what it inspired. Thanks for the good wishes and kind words. I’m sorta “tied up” at the moment…ha! But I’ll hop over tonight or tomorrow a.m. to see what you’re up to. Welcome back!
Today’s headline over at Roses and Thorns was to “Listen for the stories and then write them down” which seems to be exactly what you’re doing, although that makes it sound a lot easier than it is. Still, some of your poems have the feeling of stories overheard, which is as delightful as a good eavesdropping session. Glad to have come across your site.
Hi, Mairi. It’s nice to see you. I’m glad you came in. I always enjoy meeting new people, and I’ll definitely check you out. Thanks for your good words. Yes, I do eavesdrop a lot…ha! I guess that’s in a poet’s nature, huh? We’re sneaky lil’ devils. Some of my poems (like this one) are true to my life, and some are other peoples’ stories.
I apologize to everyone for being even slower than usual this week. A couple of projects have me on the run. I’ll try to return tomorrow to post and talk to everyone. Thanks again, Mairi.
oh julie, this is so beautiful it breaks my heart. and yes, it is also very timely. your poetry is just amazing.
Thanks so much, Odessa. I hope you’re doing well. It’s good to see you:)
man, this one stings. spent too long doing that dance. except for the overqualified part. but this puts a crack in any heart that has worn that funk & desperation.
Hi, Joaquin. Welcome back! It’s great to see you. I hope things are going well. I enjoyed what you left in your absence.
I’m not overqualified, either. That’s just what they say once you’re over 30. I wrote a poem about that, too. I called it “Code Words.” If you listen carefully, those words are everywhere.
But hell…I’m off on a monologue again! Ha! Ha! What I meant to say is thank you very much for dropping in.
Great. Perfect.
Hi, simondrax. Thank you very much! I appreciate the good words.