Nobody Saw It Coming
Julie Buffaloe-Yoder
.
Sweet Cheeks Jim
got drunk and broke
an empty bottle of
Mad Dog 20/20
and a bar stool,
.
then carved up his
girlfriend’s face
under a streetlight
.
in the alley
behind
Whitey’s Bar.
.
We found her
an hour later
laying in the
sticky light
with no eyes.
.
The cops found Jim
at his grandma’s
.
eating cherry pie
and vanilla ice cream
.
listening to
Coast to Coast
on the radio.
.
The next night,
the news team
showed up
at Whitey’s
.
and we all said
what a nice guy
Jim had been
in school
and nobody
.
saw this coming.
.
Then we sat there
quiet, staring
at our beer,
listening
to the ticking
.
of loose screws
in bar stools
.
trying to hide
the itch
of bullshit
in our eyes.
.
.
You hit it every single time. You are amazing. I wonder what it takes out of you to write like this. Thank you for sharing it.
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And thank you, harrietsdaughter. It’s hard to describe other than mentally (and physically) exhausting. So I really appreciate your support and encouragement. Thank you very much for your kind words. -J
Oh, I have to read this again – just to enjoy the subtleties, such as the image of his girlfriend in the stickiness while he eats vanilla ice cream and cherry pie and the ticking of loose screws! Brilliant! (This could have won Jason’s contest — MD20, 20!)
Now that I’ve enjoyed it, let me say that the whole thing rings too true. That is exactly how we react to the horrors of these people we know are themselves ticking loose screws, even though we could have predicted from way back that this was going to be the way it would go.
Your poetry is always the voice of the real; I know you know these people somewhere in a conglomerate way. I’ve known them, too. If I could write them, there are stories of some of the people from my home that you’d believe but most people wouldn’t.
You speak for so many of us who know this — and to those who don’t.
Wonderful work. Always, Julie. Every time.
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Hi, Karen. You hit the nail on the head with the word “conglomerate.” The inspiration was one real life story, but I’ve heard this story so many times and have seen it on the news many more times. People always say “we didn’t know.” But when the details come out, the person had prior convictions, history of violence, etc. Hmmm…
It’s wild that you mention Jason’s contest. I’ve been trying to do a flash piece to enter, but this came out instead. I don’t think it really fits the theme, though. Oh well. Maybe next time:)
Thank you so much for your good words, Karen. I appreciate your thoughtful comments. -J
Oops. “wond”? (Hughes Creek for past tense of won?)
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No problem, sis. I got it for you:) -J
J.
you tell the story
we’ll digest ‘em slowly
Hi, Jack. Thanks so much. I love that comment.
Excellent! As other have said: so on the money but still so beautiful.
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Hello, Brigindo. Thanks much! -J
Holy shit can I relate to this! I deal with all those “he was such a nice boy” jerks … and yeah, they’re jerks. Excellent poem, absolutely loved it!
Hello, JR. Shew…I can only imagine what you have to put up with. I tip my hat to you, for sure! Thanks so much for the kind words.
julie, i love how your poetry takes me right to the heart of the story. superb, as always.
Hi, Odessa. Thank you!
Narrative style is amazing. Well told story. I mirror JR’s comment.
Thanks, Walking Man. I was just thinking how much I like yours. Much appreciated.
Jules, I was completely engrossed in this and one of the things I love about it is that despite all the marvellous, precise details, there’s enough room for the reader to create their own mental pictures as the poem unfolds. Wonderful work!
Hi, Michelle. Thanks so much. I sound like a broken record today…ha! But I do appreciate the kind words. Have a good one!
i am so looking forward to the day when somebody wakes up and publishes your poems in a book – but then i imagine you are looking forward to that too.
i’m amazed at how you fuse an artful voice with a blue-collar sensibility – how we all feel like we know these people even as you’re giving us insight into them – and the way you use common language in uncommon (brilliant) ways – like “sticky light” and “the itch of bullshit”.
this one (in style if not in subject) made me realize that a lot of your poems remind me of carl sandburg. i think you share a strand or two of literary dna with him – which is probably why i can read these over and over.
Hi, Joaquin. Wow. I am humbled by your gracious comments. Seriously. I’m not just saying that. It makes the negative critiques so much easier to swallow. I am also very appreciative.
Some people don’t like the common language, so I’m glad you do. To me, it depends on the poem or the narrator. Sometimes, it has to be “roughed up” to be true to the poem.
Yes, I’m so excited about the chapbook. It’s a learning experience, too. Thanks again for all your support. I can’t stress enough how much it means to me.
Love this, Julie. You’re an artist.
Hello, Ruth! I was just thinking about you. I hope all is well. Thank you so much!
I agree with Joaquin – whom I consider to be one of the (other) best poets around! Your voice is your own, strong and true. I love your poetry, Julie. You do deserve a book and to be anthologized. I’m so excited that someday I’ll be able to say, “I knew her.”
Karen, you and Joaquin sure know how to make me feel good. I do appreciate it very much. I’m trying to steel myself for bad reviews. Argh…I hate that part of the biz. I haven’t really been “reviewed” yet, so I’m sure it will be a learning experience.
But I care way more about what good people like you and Joaquin think, because you are the ones who take the time out of your busy days to read my work week after week. That means a lot to me. Thank you so much!
Hi Julie, This poem is immediate, with a strong, compelling voice, and a disturbing impact. One thing I like is that there’s no gender in this- it can be a man or a woman, sitting at the bar stool, thinking these thoughts, and the feeling I get, is both the reader and the speaker of the poem are drained and stunned, by the end of it. You’ve mentioned your chapbook before. When do you expect it will be published?
Hi, Annie. Thank you very much. I was at your place last night but was interrupted before I could say hello. It’s good to see you. Thanks for pointing out the lack of gender and the ending. I was also drained when I finished it. Violent pieces do that to me.
I’m not sure about a date for the chapbook. Layout might begin in August, but it could take a while after that. It sure has been a good learning experience for me. Crystal is awesome. She is allowing my daughter to do the cover. You can see a sample of Amber’s prints here http://juliebuff.wordpress.com/2008/09/10/the-a-is-for-awesome/
The book is a different theme, though. I can’t wait to see what she does with it. Thank you, Annie!
Yikes! That was a wild ride. I can’t ever see the words “cherry pie” without thinking of Stephen King’s, Bachman book, “Thinner”.
I loved that “listening to the ticking of loose screws”. What an amazing and subtly prodding image.
More! More!
Kat
Hi, Kat. You’re not going to believe this, but I had a long, madwoman debate with myself about the words “cherry pie.” I almost changed it to “peach pie,” because I didn’t want it to be too heavy handed. Peach might sound good after “eating,” and it wouldn’t connote such a blood red image. But I liked the syllable stresses of cherry, so it won out. Now I’m leaning toward peach again…ha! ha!
But before I go into another madwoman debate with myself, I should say thank you, Kat! I appreciate your comments very much. It will help me a lot with revision.
And thanks for all the kind words. Much appreciated. Have a great day, sis.
***
Or maybe pecan? Nah. Now I like cherry again. I told you I’m nuts:)
Apple might be too pedestrian/predictable. What about rhubarb? No! Cherry has a number of interesting connotations.
Peach is too pretty.
Kat
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You’re so right, Kat. Apple is way too predictable. Peach is pretty. Now I’m thinking cherry and just leave it. Of course, I’m sure I’ll change my mind a million times…ha! Thanks so much. -J
Lordy, what a name – Sweet Cheeks Jim. It nails the character right from the start! Another tour de force, Julie. Great narrative, filled with your signature vivid imagery.
Hi, Christine. Thanks so much. You’re back from vacation? Yay! It’s so good to see you. I really enjoyed the pics.
Wow Julie,
Have not been here in awhile and I find myself covering my eyes — I can not stand domestic voilence or drinking, not that I never drink but very little —there is so much crap out there that is covered up by the images that are kept in front of society — your poetry has exposed some of those false images — thank you for doing so
Barbara
Hi, Barbara. It’s so nice to see you. I hope all is going well after your vacation and break. I agree with you about violence. I hate it. It drains me to write about it. It’s hard to describe the mental and physical exhaustion that goes into a violent piece like this. I do think it’s necessary to tell, though. You’re so right…we don’t want to cover it up. Thanks so much for the kind words!
Holy moly. The ending of this is dynamite…..bloody superb. You have a gift.
Hi, Jo. It’s great to see you. I hope your holiday was excellent. Thank you very much!
Truly an amazing poem…much of it I must admit was really hard (FOR ME) to follow…but i read it,reread it and i think I got the point(Mind you this only points to my stupidity and nothing to challenge the credibility of your poem(s))
well I havent been online a really long time…so i have missed a lot of things.I have just come out to reply,read and learn(after the net at my home crashed,yeah i mean it crashed..LOL).
Here i vanish…….bye:)
Hello, Narendra. I’m sorry you had a computer crash. That’s rough. But it’s good to see you now.
No, you are not stupid! I’m really impressed by all you know. I’m guessing the difficulty is because the voice is very regional. Of course, not all Americans speak that way. And there are references like Mad Dog 20/20 or a radio show called “Coast to Coast” that a lot of people might not know. So you make a very good point.
Thanks so much for your good words, Narendra. It’s always great to see you:)
excellent and what an ending,
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Hi, Juliet. I love your ducks and bunnies:) I gotta see if you have more pics. Thanks so much. -J
Julie, I read this when you first posted it, but I’ve been hiding. This was profound and so messed up in the number of people you are describing here. Once again, you are able to grab souls and force them onto the page in a way that only you can. I am in awe.
Hi, Cat. It’s always so good to see you. Thank you very much for those kind words. You make a great point about the “number of people.” There are too many screwed up people in the world. And there are too many people who sit back and make excuses for the perpetrators of violence.
It boggles my mind the number of times I’ve seen or read this story. I wasn’t consciously thinking about it when I wrote the poem, but the men who tried to murder my brother are another example. One of them attacked a woman so badly, she had to be hospitalized. He didn’t go to jail for that, so he was free to attack my brother.
He did not serve one day for what he did to my brother. Now, he’s free to hurt someone else. And he will. It’s just a matter of time.
The other men are young (early twenties), so people make excuses for them. Aw shucks. What a shame to “ruin the life” of “a young kid.” Never mind the victims.
Sorry, Cat. I went off on a rant! This one hit close to home, and I didn’t even realize it. The subconscious is amazing.
Thanks so much:)
Oh, ouch. Julie, this is so raw.
Hi, Rachel! It’s great to see you:)
so strong…so disturbing…so real
Oh Julie, I can never get over how awesome your work is.
Hi, Holly. I was thinking about you today. I hope your summer is going well. Thank you much.
You get to the essence, the spirit of the individuals – When I read your poety, for me, the people in them are like me or how I used to be or how I want to be or how I don’t want to be or how I’m going to be (sad, brave, hypocritical, scared, stoic and every other adjective) – they’re human and you cut to the essence of them with a few pen strokes.
It doesn’t look like you box the individuals up llike peaches and put a bow on their box by the end of the poem and set them out on a roadside stand.
It seems like you peel them back and cut them open to breathe. I’d rather see a peach cut open where I can see and smell and feel it’s innards than put it in a basket.
The poems can make me feel uncomfortable, sad, proud to be a human, ashamed to be human and free and oppressed – but – it’s still the peach experience. You cut open the peaches for me.
Don’t know if that makes any sense to you but
Thank YOU for what you do!
Hi, Sara! It’s so good to see you. Your words make perfect sense to me, and I really appreciate it. That’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten, and it makes me beam and feel humbled at the same time. I love it.
After I read your awesome questions a couple of months ago, I started wondering if maybe that “connection” is why we write. I’d still write if nobody ever read my words (I did that for a long time). But when I started sharing the words and having people feel the experience, it inspired me to produce at least twice as much as before.
That connection with another human being is awesome. It’s also a gift to me. I don’t take it lightly. I appreciate your friendship very much, but I also appreciate that you are a reader. Thank you for the thoughtful words.
Whoooooo-eeeeeeeee!
Hi, hysperia. Thanky kindly!