Last week, I met a truck driver who goes by the name of Ham Bone..I was thrilled to hear that Ham Bone and a group of truck drivers from out west like to read my work! .Seriously, that is one of the biggest honors I will ever have.
That’s what poetry is all about to me.. Poetry is not part of a secret handshake society, and it is not meant to be locked away in lofty, academic ivory towers.. It is meant to be enjoyed by the people.
Ham Bone is a philosopher, a gentleman, and a hell of an interesting political commentator.. He made me laugh, and that is the greatest gift of all..He also gave me an assignment.. I was to write a lighthearted political poem that is also not a political poem.
This one’s for you, Ham Bone. .Happy shifting.
…
Making History
.Julie Buffaloe-Yoder
.
For a fifth grade unit on
government, they made us
swamp rats put on shoes
.
and ride in a sweat-funky bus
to visit the legislative building
in Raleigh, sit in the galleries
for hours, and watch politicians
who liked to pontificate and nap.
.
This is a privilege, our teacher
glared at me over her glasses,
Don’t you dare embarrass me
by acting like a wild, crazy fool.
.
Me and Scoochie and the boys
hung over the balcony
of the huge white column room
enjoyed the echo of belches,
farted and threw spitballs
at Senator Jesse Helms.
.
We didn’t know who he was,
but he made us laugh the most
when he stood up, turned red,
pointed his finger at heaven
and hell and us.
.
Later that day, we were told
we brought shame to our class,
teacher, principal, mamas,
daddies, district, and Jesus
by being the only fifth grade
hell raisers in the history
of North Carolina to ever
get kicked out of the senate.
.
Our next unit was about
occupations–I wrote a poem
that made the whole class laugh
about how things will change
in that white column room
when my face turns red
and I get myself elected.
..
.
Heh. You didn’t go there, get elected. You going to? Well. I don’t really want to be a dragon either. Rather be a broke down empty pocket poet. Today I wrote a poem about not being able to write a poem. I guess you can write a poem about beating the ghost of the early Jesse Helms at the polls ’cause you just did.
I drove through North Carolina one time on the way to see my dad who was living in SoCarolina.
Hi, Christopher! We’d be in trouble if I got elected…ha! I almost didn’t post the poem, because my mother would be really upset. Not because she’s a fan of Jesse Helms (hardly), but because she’d say I am “speaking ill of the dead,” which is a big no-no in my culture. Nah. No harm intended. Just having a little fun. I poke fun at all politicians, regardless of party affiliation.
I agree…better to be a broke down empty pocket poet than a dragon, huh? Or a politician:) Thanks for your comments, Christopher. Have a good day.
btw–did you send something to crys? why not??
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Thanks, Scot! I’m sending crys something and also the Dead Mule this week. I sure do appreciate your support…and kick in the butt…ha! I’ll be back at your place again tonight or tomorrow. You’re blowing my mind with all that good stuff. -Julie
Haha, Mom, this is really great! Especially since I’ve heard you tell me this story before – I’m glad you got a poem out of it! Did you really meet a truck drive who reads your poems? That’s so cool! How did you meet? In real life or on the interwebs?
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Hi, Amber! I just ordered you something for Christmas!! Yes, Ham Bone is real. I was so excited to meet him last week. He came into my work, and he saw my name on some paperwork and asked if I was the poet. He had seen me on Side of Grits a few weeks ago and googled my name and found this blog. Then he told a bunch of his friends. He said when they stop at motels with internet connection, they look me up.
That blew my mind!! It really, truly is an honor. I wish I could lead a poetry workshop full of truck drivers. Wouldn’t that be cool? He told me some awesome stories, too.
Thanks, Amber. Love you:)
Julie, I laughed outloud with this in several places, thank you! Wonderful and fun. Are you in North Carolina now?
Thanks and hello, Catherine! I’m in Ohio right now but am moving back to North Carolina in about a month. I’m excited to go home, but I’m also sad to leave my home here. It’s all good, though. I imagine when I get there, I’ll start writing Ohio poems…ha! Thanks for your kind comments!
Boy , this played out just like a scene from a good “ole” movie.
Aren’t you the one? Truckers plugging into cyber space to read your poetry. And I say to all of them – you won’t read any better anywhere else – than right here at the Buffaloe Pen!
Julie, as always, I have enjoyed my stay immensely. K
Hi, K! Thanks so much! I’ll tell them to go to Old Mossy Moon, too:) I appreciate your visit and kind comments.
Very cool….the poem and finding Ham Bone
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Hi, Brigindo! So nice to come on and fine you here this morning. Thanks for the kind words. Yes, Ham Bone is a gem. -Julie
Ah this is SO great and SO you, I can see ya doin’ it! Julie for President, yeah baby!
My bro is a trucker. Solidarity forever!
All of this – just what I needed today Sis.
Hello, hysperia sistah! Truckers rock!! Did you tell me before that your brother is a trucker? I can’t remember now (frazzled brain cells). That is an awesome coincidence, because I have always had an affinity for truckers. Thanks, sis. I hope you’re feeling better today:)
“better to be a broke down empty pocket poet than a dragon, huh?”
I confess to a twinge of doubt.
Hee hee…I feel like a dragon today. With fire coming out of my eyes.
Oh snort snort snort!!! gut bustin’ funny! Felt like I was right there with you getting pointed at and hell-fired at! LOL!
I bet a lot of truckers are secret (or maybe not so secret…) poets! A lot of rhythm accompanying your thoughts when you’re driving along, ya know?
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Hey, Nan! So good to see you. That’s such a good point about the rhythm of driving. I bet there are a lot of truck drivers who write poetry. I told Ham Bone I would LOVE to read something he writes…I’d even post it here. He said he’s “not a poet,” but I beg to disagree. Anybody who can tell stories the way he did is surely a poet. Thanks so much for your visit, Nan:) -Julie
julie, this poem is so vivid it plays out like a movie scene. love the story of how you met Ham Bone. he should also start a blog. i would imagine his friends and him have a lot of interesting tales to tell.
Hey, Odessa! So good to see you, too. You are right. Ham Bone made me laugh so hard. I was really inspired by his stories. I’ve written a bit (or tried to) about a truck driver, but I think he has a much better perspective than I do, since it’s his life. He also told me some stories about a female driver, and I’d love to meet her. Thanks for your comments and for dropping in.
Julie,
You have my vote — not only on the poem but on your message. The world is full of Ham Bone’s who love to read poetry and challenge our thoughts —- you have a winner here especially with “pointed his finger to heaven and hell and us –” I can just picture it —
Make sure you run a clean campaign —
Hello, Barbara! It is so nice to see you. I’m glad you like the poem, and you are right on about Ham Bone. A clean campaign would be a first, wouldn’t it? Ha! Ha! Thanks so much for your visit:)
Julie,
I do not have an idea whom the elected official was but I do not think there was any bad intended. This poem is clean and healthy fun…
I also think that a poet that is read by a truck driver is a mighty poet (or for that matter a poet read by anyone that is not teaching or writing or has a job that somehow requires reading what others write …ya know what I mean)
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Hi, Annamari! Wow…that is an awesome compliment. Thanks so much. Yes, I was trying for a bit of good, clean fun. I tend to get really worked up over politics in my personal life, so it’s a nice release to just laugh every now and then. Thanks for your visit. It’s great to see you. -Julie
Yes i enjoyed this poem , good narrative structure. It’s always great to meet fans, especially when they’re not poets themselves…
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Narrative is actually tricky sometimes. It’s a balancing act to show a story while telling it, so I appreciate that kind nod. I’m sure I’ll rework it in the future.
As for fans…lol! This is the first fan I’ve ever met in person who wasn’t a friend or related to me, so it was fun. Plus, he was such an awesome person. Thanks, Crafty Green Poet! -Julie
Oh Julie, this just shakes its little butt at the world, I love it. And yes, you’d get my vote in a heartbeat.
Hello, Jo! I’m laughing out loud now. Shaking its little butt is hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh. It’s been a crappy week, and I needed it! So good to see you.
And everybody PLEASE check out Jo’s site to see the beautiful…awesome…excellent journal that she and Christine have created. Many excellent poets and artists are in there, and the design is beautiful. I’ll do a post and link to let everyone know, but for now, hit Jo’s link for more info or http://www.ouroborosreview.wordpress.com
Hah, Jesse Helms deserved to get hooted at! The concept behind this wonderful poem is so intriguing, a political poem that’s not a political poem. Goo ole Ham Bone, wherever he be, inspired a great one!
Hi, Christine! Ha! Ha! I actually have several Jesse Helms stories. My aunt worked with him back in the 50′s or 60′s, and she told several. She later became a curator at the NC Museum of Art and had other run-ins with him. I should put them all in a book and dedicate it to her…ha! She would have loved that. Thanks so much, Christine. Talk to you soon:)
this kid is dead-center-perfect.
Thanks, joaquin! So nice to see you. I’ll be back at your house soon:)
AWESOME!!! I’m sitting here grading exams giving myself a giant dose of insanity…and I came here. I’m so glad!
I just read this aloud to a coworker…we had a well-needed laugh!!!!
ps…I love HamBone! If “the people” read your work, and I can see why they do, you HAVE succeeded! Go on with your bad self girl!
Hi, Holly! Isn’t Ham Bone an awesome person? I wish you could have met him and talked to him. You really would have loved him. Thanks for laughing…I love it! And thanks for sharing with your co-worker. That’s a great compliment. You must be exhausted from the end of the semester hoopla! Take care. I’m thinking of you. It’ll all be over soon!
Why doesn’t anyone name Ham Bone read my poetry? Or give me poetry assignments?
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Hi, Dana! I’ve heard you have a robot, and that is so cool. Ha! Ha! Thanks so much for dropping in. I love your work and your site! -Julie
Julie,
Once again, you’ve helped to show the world the power of words. These connections — they’re for a reason, I’m sure, and to remind us that “everybody” is a poet (… if not writing poetry, a poet at heart).
Kudos!
Geoff (& Eleanor), at “This Side of Paradise”
Hi, Geoff & Eleanor. Thank you much! It’s great to see you. Are you still locked away in the writer’s room?
Ha! Ha! (grin, grin, snort) Such a hilarious read, Julie. I could imagine the pouting and squirming on the bus, and later, the exhilaration of being kids among the most rigid-looking adults a kid’s ever seen.
I’m thrilled to hear that your readership is expanding to include those featured in several of your poems. If I were Ham Bone or one of his friends, I’d be downright exuberant, too. 
So happy for him, and you. Cheers.
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Hi, S.L.! Thanks so much. I sure did love Ham Bone’s assignment. It was time to lighten up, too. It was such an honor to meet him. Thanks for dropping in:) -Julie
This is so great. Really enjoyed it.
Thanks, Nathan!