Summa Cum Laude

October 22, 2008 by Julie

A buddy told me I need to lighten up on the poetry theme for this week. So I dug through my Stack O’ Crazy and found this ditty from last year. It’s sort of light gray with a pinkish hue.

Back To School Shopping

When the semester’s over,

private college kids

throw away

three-month-old junk

they don’t want to lug

back to mum & dad’s.

Couches, chairs, computers,

printers, scanners, designer

label clothes and shoes,

canned food, vacuums,

twelve packs of Heineken,

televisions, remotes, DVD’s.

Books they’ll never read.

Have mercy, I’ve died

and woke up in Macy’s

with enough name brand

laundry soap, shampoo

silky feeling conditioner

and mango raspberry

body wash to last

this working girl

six sweet months.

I’m glad rich kids

are stupid.

I graduated from

dumpster diving

with Honors.

Julie Buffaloe-Yoder

Like this:

Be the first to like this post.

Posted in poetry | Tagged college, fiction, poetry, rich kids, waste, working class, working class poetry | 22 Comments

22 Responses

on October 22, 2008 at 3:13 pm nathan1313

You’ve got such a keen eye for detail. You know they do throw away a lot of good stuff. The disgusting thing is when they leave their pets. I’ve seen this happen many times.
on October 22, 2008 at 3:21 pm Julie

Oh yeah…this stuff is way better than the stuff I used to scavenge at the state university. Unbelievably good stuff in perfect condition. But pets?? I didn’t know that. You’re right…that is disgusting!

Thanks for your comments. It’s always good to see you, Nathan.
on October 23, 2008 at 12:53 am hysperia

Well, lol sorta, except for the disgusting part. Do they really leave Heineken? Ya gotta be real rich to leave yer brewsky.
on October 23, 2008 at 1:15 am Julie

I guess even my light stuff turns into a rant…tee hee.

But it’s abso-tively true. They left beer…lots of beer. I don’t think it was Heineken…can’t remember the exact brand…but I like the sound of the word there. We had a good ole time with that find.

I first became a dumpster diver when I was an undergrad myself. But that wasn’t anything like this. My state university had a mixture of poor kids like I was or rich kids who trashed most of their stuff.

This was…like…freaking brand new, expensive stuff. Clothes with tags still on! It was in mountains (not in dumpsters). I’d love to go back this year with a pickup truck and sell all of it. Maybe open a shop and call it “One Brat’s Trash…” We could have poetry readings there. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?

Thanks for dropping in, hysperia sistah:)
on October 23, 2008 at 2:02 am Scott Ennis

I used to retrieve at least one hard drive a week from computers people would throw away in my apartment building. Nothing wrong with the hard drives, just the power supply had failed on the computer. Oh, the things I learned about my neighhbors! And I got a huge collection of mp3s!
on October 23, 2008 at 2:26 am Julie

Hi, Scott! Isn’t it amazing what people will throw away? There were piles of computers tossed on the curb at this school. mp3s would be an awesome find, too. It’s nice to meet someone else who realizes the value of “trash.”

You’re so right about learning about your neighbors…ha! That would make a great story or poem. Now you’ve got my wheels spinning. Everybody’s assignment for today is to go look in your neighbor’s trash and write a poem about it. But don’t get caught:) I’m just crazy enough to do it.

Thanks much for dropping in. I’ll be hopping over to your site again. You have beautiful work.
on October 23, 2008 at 3:07 am christine

Julie, this is great! I didn’t know kids did this. When I was in college i wore thrift-store clothes and bought my food at a co-op. If anything stayed behind, it was given away to friends as a well-worn hand-me-down.

But your poem is a blast!

My dad used to love driving by someone’s garbage next to the street to find cast away treasures.

*************************************************************************

Hi, Christine! This is so cool. I’m glad to know other people do this, too. I was starting to think it was only my family and me…ha ha! Oh yes, I love thrift stores. They know my name at Goodwill:) Thanks much for your great comments. -Julie
on October 23, 2008 at 10:50 am Scot

Julie
too long a break–love the title and the work

********************************************************************

Hi, Scot! Thanks so much. Yeah, I’m so far behind lately…chasing my tail. I’m getting back over to your place today. Lots of awesome things are going on over there. -Julie
on October 23, 2008 at 3:20 pm S.L. Corsua

This reminds me of a true story a relative of mine (who is currently a minister/pastor in New York) told me, about first arriving in the U.S., back in the eighties. He and his wife first lived in quarters sponsored by his church then, and their first ever television set was from one of these spots you’ve described in this poem. It was crazy, he said, how, right before spring break, all kinds of fairly new and brand new appliances, even couches and what-not, were just lying there by the side of buildings, free for all.

Designer label clothes with tags still on? If only I could fly and be there when the ‘mountains’ of goodies appear overnight. Ahh, I can almost hear the angels’ chorus singing Hallelujah.

**************************************************************************

Hi, S.L.! That’s an awesome story. It must have been total culture shock for your relative. It leaves me in shock when people don’t know (or care) how truly fortunate they are. I’m very fortunate compared to many people in the world. Oh yes, I am truly happy when I find stuff like this.

Angels singing hallelujah…ha! ha! Even your comments are pieces of art, S.L. Thanks for stopping by. I’m so happy to have the opportunity to read your beautiful work:) -Julie
on October 23, 2008 at 3:30 pm Amber

Haha! Love it, Mom! You remember that guy John (friend of Noah’s family)? He went there last year with his pickup truck. Just loaded it up with awesome stuff.

I was on the train the other day, and I saw a rich looking girl who had the same hand bag as me. For a second I was surprised, and then I remembered it’s a name brand bag I found at Denison! Hah!

****************************************************************************

That’s hilarious, Amber! You can go mingle with the ritzy people in Manhatten now that you have the right hand bag…ha! ha!

But wait a minute…John’s taking my gig!! Dangit!! How do you like my idea for the shop? I’ll call it “One Brat’s Trash…” I love that. And yes, there will be poetry slams there! You can take the clothes and stuff for costumes/props for filming.

I was tempted to mention your experiences at dumpster diving, but I didn’t know if you’d want me to tell your stories…ha! You’re even better than I am, because you always find great stuff. I’ve never known anyone who can find the amazing stuff you do.

Thanks for dropping in. I’ll talk to you soon. Love, Mom
on October 23, 2008 at 6:50 pm yuzublizzard

Well, you’re bound to be stupid if you don’t even bother to read your books before passing them on to their second life… But it sounds like fun to go treasure hunting! And I love the name of your shop
on October 23, 2008 at 7:04 pm Julie

Hi, yuzublizzard! Yeah, can you believe that? Throwing books away is unreal to me. Even if it’s a book that’s not my cup of tea, I can’t imagine throwing it away.

I guess it’s mean for me to say say rich kids are stupid. I should say these rich kids were stupid:)

Thanks so much for dropping in. I’m getting back over to your site, too. Awesome work! I’m hoping to carve out a couple of hours this evening to read. Take care.
on October 23, 2008 at 7:58 pm johemmant

Left me giggling…….the last few lines are hilarious. I sold all my stuff that was too big to schlep back home……I certainly didn’t dump it. And leaving pets? How could they? Wonderful details, a lovely light touch and smiles, what more could a girl want (okay that girl bit isn’t strictly true but woman just sounds so old)?
on October 23, 2008 at 8:28 pm Julie

Hi, Jo! Cool comments! Yeah, I thought about the girl thing…a sexist ring to that word, huh? Then I decided the tone of the poem would work better with girl. That would make a great discussion in itself! Thanks so much, Jo. Your comments are always awesome.
on October 24, 2008 at 2:11 pm Holly D

GAWD this is great…reminds me of every college town I’ve ever lived in…Auburn & Boulder most especially, but even the smaller towns. We got some great furniture off the street!

Yes, I’ve seen the pet thing…that may be how I got my stray cat in Auburn…still have him.

Also, the “One Brat’s Trash…” is a GREAT idea! hahaha!! That is hilarious!
on October 24, 2008 at 2:49 pm Julie

Hi, Holly! Alright! You can be the first reader at the One Brat’s Trash debut poetry slam! Wouldn’t that be awesome? I would so love to do something like that, and I would so love to have you as the first poet:)

Furniture off the street is great. It’s good to know that kindhearted people like you take in the strays. I had honestly never heard of that one. I wonder if our local universities have noticed that problem?

Thanks so much for dropping in, Holly. It’s always great to see you.
on October 25, 2008 at 12:12 am hysperia

Sign me up for “One Brat’s Trash” along with Holly! To read poetry and come home with good trash would be amazing.

*******************************************************************************

Hi, hysperia! You better believe I’d want you up there, front and center:) I think it would be so much fun. Thanks much for dropping in. I’ll be over to talk when the weekend slows down a little. Take care! -Julie
on October 25, 2008 at 3:26 am Brigindo

What a fun poem. I love it. I hardly believe what people are saying about the discarded pets..that really is too sad.

****************************************************************************

Hi, Brigindo! I know…I was shocked when Nathan and Holly first told me about the pets. Since then, I’ve asked other people around my neighborhood, and they said they’ve heard of it, too. I shouldn’t be shocked, though. Most of the animals I’ve owned over the years have been someone else’s castaways. Thanks for dropping in. It’s always good to see you. -Julie
on October 26, 2008 at 2:18 am nan

the stuff …. meh, it’s good for someone else who needs it. Or wants it So let them build mountains. But the pets… that really really tees me off majorly. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!

And back to the stuff… sounds like good fund raiser potential for a humane society….

SO much for lightening up, huh? heh!
on October 26, 2008 at 7:19 pm Julie

Hi, Nan! That’s a good idea. Sell the stuff and give the money away. Yeah…I’m not too light…hee hee. Great to see you, as always. Take care.
on October 30, 2008 at 7:56 pm Diane Ferri

I too tend to write overly weighty poetry – but I like all of yours – light or heavy!
on October 30, 2008 at 8:33 pm Julie

Thanks, Diane! That is so kind of you to say. I was just over looking at your site again. I will definitely be back very soon. Beautiful work!